Kids and the things they say or do are hilarious, but these tweets from parents who were on the receiving end are funnier. We’re starting a new weekly series here at FamFun where each week we’ll gather together the most hilarious tweets from moms and dads.
What are you waiting for? Laughter awaits. Scroll down to read the latest batch of hilarious parenting tweets!
First day of school & my son already brought home a picture form & now I have to decide if I want a basic package or spend $200 & get his face on a hand towel.— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) August 15, 2019
**PACKING YOUR KID’S LUNCH**— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) August 15, 2019
1st day of school vs 3rd day of school pic.twitter.com/pKPUrqQCdP
Me: “Did you empty the dishwasher like I told you to??”— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) August 14, 2019
*continues to eat his cereal with a measuring spoon while drinking juice from a coffee mug.
Turns out a bedtime story about clowns who drive ice cream trucks wasn’t such a good idea.— Just J (@junejuly12) August 14, 2019
2yo: momma guess what? I got real high with daddy.— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) August 14, 2019
Wife: he’s talking about swings right?
Me: pft as if I’d share my good shit with him.
My kids are mad because I took them to the beach all day and bought them ice cream, but I never let them do anything fun.— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) August 13, 2019
If your kid starts off a question with “Do you” and you don’t interrupt with “Know the muffin man?” are you really even a parent?— The Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) August 14, 2019
Is it bath night if you don’t look like you’ve wrestled a kraken?— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) August 13, 2019
Kid: *runs, jumps headfirst, lands on stomach, slides 8 feet across slip-n-slide to an abrupt stop, gets up, and repeats*— Jessie (@mommajessiec) August 15, 2019
Me: *kinks neck while watching*
The only time my child closes a door is when I am right behind her with my hands full.— Amber Leventry (they/them) (@AmberLeventry) August 14, 2019
My son might look EXACTLY like my husband, but I just found him shoving old fries down his throat from the trash can, so I’m in there somewhere.— Trophy Wife 🏆 (@TrophyWifeDayna) August 19, 2019
My toddler currently has flaming hot Cheetos in her snack cup in case you were wondering what kind of savage I’m raising.— What just happened? (@anxiouscougar) August 19, 2019
It took my kids a half hour to eat breakfast and 15 seconds to cover their hands, arms, and legs in stamps this morning.— Tired Dad of 2 (@Tired_Dad_of_2) August 19, 2019
If I had to pick a favorite child, I guess I’d have to pick my husband. He’s learning to be a little more independent than the other children.— Maryfairyboberry (@MaryJustice86) August 19, 2019
Have kids, so they can whip the tampons out of your purse yelling “mama what this for?” while eating at a classy restaurant.— Manic Mama (@JannaKilimnik) August 19, 2019
I never understood why a person would think it was a good idea to cut off their own ear… until I had kids.— The Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) August 20, 2019
Walking to my parked car, 2nd spot from the front, a lady beeped at me to hurry out of the space so she could take it.— Marissa 🏳️🌈 (@natsmama75) August 19, 2019
So I let the 3 year old practice buckling herself in.
My 5 yo is very upset I won’t put sliced turkey breast in her PB&J.— Mamasaurus Rex🦖 (@Cynical_Parent) August 18, 2019
I know a set up when I hear one.
I have no theories as to what the apocalypse will be like.— Mom On The Rocks (@sah_nursemom) August 19, 2019
But I do know my kids will still be asking for snacks.
My 2yo cried for 30 minutes in the car because I wouldn’t let her get out to hug her friends, and by friends I mean pigeons. Parenthood is wild y’all.— Marcy G 🍕 (@BunAndLeggings) August 17, 2019
If you ever want to know what it feels like to be an animal in the zoo, have some kids, wait a few years, then go in the bathroom and try to put some makeup on.— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) August 18, 2019
Russian roulette, except it’s my family of 5, who only has one roll of toilet paper left and no time to go shopping until tomorrow.— Heather🦈Doo doo Doo do (@dishs_up) August 19, 2019
What’s the craziest thing your kid has ever said or done?
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